I couldn’t sleep last night. You left your scent, delicately placed on my pillow again. How is it possible to love a human-being this much? I’ve been trying for months now, to come up with the right words that might convey exactly how you make me f e e l. How does one explain magic, I’m not quite sure. How is it that I miss you, before you’re even gone? My entire being quivers at the simplest touch. You’ve extracted my heart exquisitely, consumed me like the ocean consumes a wave. With unimaginable force I’ve crashed into you, only to become whole again.
I stutter a bit but whatever.
Fast forward a few days later and we’re leaving. I’m on the plane, my heart feels heavy, like it’s about to fall out of my chest, and I’m literally fighting back tears. I heard the Captain say we were third in line for take off. I stared out that small window for what seemed like forever. Into the city lights trying to take in as much as I could. It’s like they were twinkling secret messages to me “stay, don’t leave yet.” I remember thinking how slow it felt, torturous ever. I just wanted to get it over with. I’ve never been one who’s good at goodbyes. It was in this moment I realized this is where I need to be, and that I don’t need to be sad because this isn’t the end, but simply a new beginning.
It’s the way he looks at me, like no one ever has. I crave the way he tastes, shockingly electric. Every love prior- insignificant. He is living poetry with a hint of magic. Unexpectedly he sings, my name, stains his lips. Every kiss only leaves me wanting more. Melting at the slightest touch, hand on my thigh, it’s not enough. You’re my favorite song, stuck on repeat. No longer afraid to fall, I’ve landed on both feet.
Heartbeats break so sweet. He left me on my knees, now I refuse to beg. I’ve learned to to stand solely on my own two legs. My soul still a bit dark, you lit some kind of spark, but something inside is holding me back, breaking me like a heart attack. I’m so back and forth on all of this bliss. Don’t want to let it go, afraid that I’ll miss. Yet I’ve forgotten how to trust, and my heart has had about enough. I can’t breathe so I choke, you say you’re in a fog, but are you just blowing smoke? Is this even fair, am I seeing something that isn’t there? Trying too hard my chest feels tight, just tell me that we’ll be alright.